I feel like there’s two things in this world that I know way too much about… 90s hiphop and NBA basketball. So what better way to spend part of my day off from work than to tell the 2007-2008 NBA season through 90s hiphop lyrics. Without further ado, on to the lyrics…
“Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years.”
(LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out)
LA Lakers – After a couple of so-so years, the Lakers are right back in the thick of the NBA Championship race. In my opinion, they are the clear winners so far in trade deadline maneuvering. Assuming Kobe’s finger holds up and Bynum comes back 100%, the Lakers have as good a shot as anyone to come out of the West.
“Socrates philosophies and high prophesies can’t define how I be droppin’ these mockeries.”
New Orleans Hornets – Who would have predicted that the Hornets would have the best record in the Western Conference at the All-Star break? No one, thats who.
“What’s up doc, can we rock?”
Shaquille O’Neal – Clearly Shaq and the Heat could not rock. Maybe Shaq can rock with the Suns… if he ever plays.
“I been had skills, Cristal spills, hide bills in Brazil… its all about the Benjamins, baby.”
Anderson Varejao – The crazy-haired Brazilian sat out the first couple months of the season, trying to force the Cavs to trade him or sign him for more money. Unfortunately for him, that meant that another team had to step up with an offer sheet and it wasn’t until December that the Bobcats stepped up with a 3-yr, 17 mil deal that the Cavs matched to keep Varejao.
“Livin’ this till the day that we die. Survival of the fittest, only the strong survive.”
(Mobb Deep – Survival of the Fittest)
Allen Iverson – This quote goes to the biggest warrior in the NBA, AI. Iverson is once again leading the league in total minutes and average minutes/game. Since 2000-2001, Iverson has led the league in minutes/game every year except for 2004-2005 when he was 0.1 minute behind Lebron. Did I mention that he is 32 years old, in his 12th NBA season and only 6 foot, 175 pounds?! For his career, AI averages a ridiculous 41.8 minutes per game! No wonder he doesn’t like to practice.
“‘Cause I’m a veteran from the c-o-m-p-t-o-n.”
(DJ Quik – Born and Raised in Compton)
Baron Davis, Tyson Chandler and Tayshaun Prince – Its been a great year so far for players from Compton… Davis is healthy, Chandler is a rebounding and defensive machine and I would argue that Prince is the second best player on the Pistons. Even Aaron Afflalo is getting some PT in Detroit.
“Dodi-oh-doh, there’ll be no nose job. I said dodi-oh-do no nose job.”
(Humpty Hump of Digital Underground – No Nose Job)
Hedo Turkoglu – Turkoglu is having a career season for the Magic. I’m convinced he has had a nose job as his nose looks completely different from when he was a rookie on the Kings. Maybe he can breathe better now… seriously. If he heard Danny Ainge and John Thompson clowning him on TBS/TNT back in the early 2000s, I wouldn’t blame him for getting that schnoz fixed.
“Is Brooklyn in the house? What about Queens in the house? Manhattan in the house? Long Island in the house? Is the Bronx in the house? The West Coast is in the house!”
(Westside Connection – All the Critics in New York)
New York Knicks – Its been another terrible season in New York. For a team with the highest payroll in the league, this is beyond embarrassing. Nice 3-20 record against the Western Conference, Isiah.
“I’m not saying I’m number one. Uhh, I’m sorry I lied. I’m number one, two, three, four and five.”
(KRS-One – Step Into a World)
Lebron James – Lebron has stepped up this year and shown that he is the best basketball player on the planet right now. Not only that, but he knows it, too. Who else would have had the audacity to wear a Yankees hat to a Yanks-Indians playoff game at Jacobs Field?
“I know your fed up, ladies, but keep ya head up”
(2Pac – Keep Ya Head Up)
Miami Heat – Less than two years removed from a championship, the Heat are at rock bottom. Amazingly, they have only won once in the last 25 games! With the trade of Shawn Marion and the probability of a high pick (Michael Beasley with Marion and Wade?!), things can only get better for the Heat. Oooow Oooow child, things are going to get easier…
“Too many MCs, not enough mics.”
(Pras of the Fugees – How Many Mics)
Sacramento Kings – How many guards and small forwards do the Kings need? This season, they have played Mike Bibby, Kevin Martin, Ron Artest, Francisco Garcia, John Salmons and Beno Udrih. Thats too many players for 3 spots and not enough minutes or shots to go around. The Kings realized this and traded Bibby last week for cents on the dollar.
“Ain’t no party like a West coast party, ’cause a West coast party don’t stop”
(Coolio – 1, 2, 3 , 4, (Sumpin’ New))
Golden State Fans – How crazy have the fans been in Golden St. this year? I love watching any game at the Oakland Arena. NBA League Pass is great for watching the Warriors since the NBA would rather force feed us Lakers, Cavs, Spurs, Pistons, etc. for most national games. Unfortunately, I usually pass out sometime in the second half of Golden St. home games. Maybe its just us East coasters who feel like Warrior’s parties never stop.
“So, here we go now. Holla if ya hear me, tho. Come and feel me flow.”
(Treach of Naughty by Nature – Feel Me Flow)
Steve Nash – Nash plays so smooth, like he just flows through games. He’s still flowing and maybe having his best season, though he’s way under the radar.
“I’m the type that likes to light another joint like Cypress Hill”
(The Luniz – I Got 5 On It)
The Spurs – You gotta love adding notorious pothead Damon Stoudamire to a team of character guys. I bet he’s the only Spurs player to try to sneak his weed through an airport metal detector by wrapping it in tin foil. That was pure genius! I’m not saying that Stoudamire is going to kill the Spurs, but I did find this pickup odd.
“Ain’t nuthin’ but a G thang, baby!”
(Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg – Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang)
The Boston Celtics – The signature song of the 90s goes to the signature team of the season so far, the Boston Celtics. In Boston, though, its nuthin’ but a K-G thang, baby!